I really enjoyed the first episode I listened to. I love the tone and honesty and think this show is going to provide to be super helpful and insightful.
And although sometimes it seems like they are happy, you as a parent know that something is wrong deep down.
You are worried about your child.
You find yourself staying up late thinking about what will happen if that issue is not “fixed.”
You ask your friends about it.
And what are their responses? They just tell you about how difficult their own teen has been lately.
So you do not feel heard.
You know that your teenager has so much potential.
Your teen is smart, funny, and hard working.
That one issue in holding them back.
That one issue is preventing them from being the happiest kid in the world, which is what you want for your child.
The reason there are so many unhappy and unfulfilled adults in the world today is because certain issues were never addressed in their teen years.
Just look around. You see it everyday. You know many of the adults that struggle with some of these issues.
This list can go on forever. And you wonder why teenagers are scared of “Adulting.”
The teen years are critical because this is when they build their foundations for adulthood,
If any of their issues are not cured, then your teen will struggle with the same issues as they get older.
Therefore PLEASE resist the urge to just put this off.
Resist the desire to believe that it will magically fix itself with maturity.
The time is NOW to help your teenager experience life without being held back.
You may already know the answer to this question because you have already tried therapy.
Therapy rarely works for teenagers.
It is not because the therapists are not good at their job.
It is because of their job.
Therapists are limited. All they can do is ask questions.
And what makes matters worse. They ask questions about your child’s “problems.”
So session after session, the focus is on your child’s
As you already know, teenagers do not like to feel like something is wrong with them.
That is why they are so resistant to therapy when you suggest it.
And how do you think it makes them feel around their peers.
Now, they have a new PROBLEM!
That is why Life Coaching for your teen is the best solution.
As a life coach, I will be honest with you.
I DO NOT SEE PROBLEMS.
Your child does not have a PROBLEM.
To me, those issues are only OBSTACLES.
You may believe it is semantics, but it is not.
You view and act upon OBSTACLES differently than you would PROBLEMS!
Think about it. A problem makes you feel helpless. It makes you feel like something is wrong with you.
An obstacle, however, doesn’t make you feel like something is wrong with you because obstacles are not part of you.
Just listen to the difference. Imagine your teenager’s principal calls and the first thing that the principal says is,
“We have a problem.”
Your heart immediately stops, right?
So as a Teen Life Coach, I only see obstacles standing in the way of your teen’s goals (and lucky for you, I am an expert at helping teenagers overcome obstacles).
It is important for your teenager to know that they do not have problems. They only have obstacles.
So here is your first assignment:
In fact, when you tell you teenager about me, tell them I am the guy that will help them reach higher levels of success in academics and sports.
That sounds much better than, “I can’t. I have to go see my therapist.”
The reason why I have had so much success “curing” teenager’s issues is because of my ability to help them manage their thoughts.
I do not prescribe a magical pill. I do not have them lie down on a couch and tell me about their problems. I do not berate the parents, and tell them that it is their fault.
I simply direct your teenager’s focus to the one thing that produces growth, excitement, and motivation, and that is
When your teen shifts their focus from problems of the past, to possibilities of the future, their mood changes,
Their attitude changes,
Their emotions change.
I am successful with teens because I know how to shift their focus.
Now, I know what you are thinking.
“My teen is smart and successful AND my teen has GOALS,
My teen still has those problems, Oops I meant obstacles.”
First, great job on completing your assignment.
Secondly, my guess is that your teenager does not have actual GOALS.
After working with over 1,000 teenagers through orthodontics and life coaching, I can honestly say that teenagers rarely have real GOALS.
What teenagers have are
So my secret to success with teenagers is my ability to shift their focus.
The way that I shift their focus is to turn those wants, desires, hopes and dreams into actual GOALS.
And the way you do that is by adding three components.
Goals have the following three components:
1. Set Intention
2. Action Plan
3. Time Frame
An intention is a direction. It is the ability to see a destination.
When you set an intention, you are giving instructions to your mind to focus all energy towards a particular destination.
It is like going on a road trip. Your intention would be the moment you make a decision on your destination.
Once you have set your intention and you know where you are going (in other words, what you want to achieve), then you need a plan to get there.
With the road trip analogy, this is the time to map out which highways you will to take. Where you will stop to eat. Which detours for site seeing, gas stops and more.
The action plan is your step by step instructions to get to your destination.
If your want, desire, hope, and dream does not have daily and weekly planned actions in place, then it is not a GOAL.
This is simply how long will it take to get your want, experience your desire, turn your hope into a reality, or live your dream.
How long will it take?
Using the road trip analogy, your time frame would be how long will it take for you to reach your destination.
I bet if you ask your child how long will it take for them to accomplish their “goal,” they would not be able to give you an accurate time frame.
Did you just see what happened.
As I was explaining what goals are, you immediately started to think about the possibilities for yourself.
You found this website because you were worried and possibly stressed, but for a moment the worry and stress disappeared.
You experienced excitement knowing that there are some goals that you yourself want to pursue.
Before I tell you why I became a life coach for teenagers, I need to first tell you why I became an orthodontist.
You heard me right. I am an orthodontist 😁
When I was in high school, my guidance counselor asked me to pick a career. “What do you want to do for the rest of your life?” she asked.
I replied with the most common phrase used by all teenagers, “I don’t know.”
So she asked me a different question. “If you could make a difference in the world, what difference would you make.”
I thought about that question for a while. I knew she would not allow me to use that common phrase again.
I replied,“I want people to be happy. I would spread happiness.”
“Great! You have two options. You can be a comedian or you can be an orthodontist.”
(Life coaching wasn’t a career back then.)
My decision was easy at that point. I was not funny so I chose to be an orthodontist.
I thought to myself, “Smiles are the logo for happiness so why not be the guy who creates them.”
I never strayed from that path and in May of 2012, it was official. I was an orthodontist.
And I felt that I was following my life’s mission to spread happiness until May of 2016, something happened!
If you have never had braces then you probably do not know the celebration that occurs when braces come off. It is a happy occasion.
The patient is happy and sometimes crying tears of joy. The parents are happy. My team is happy and I am happy. This was the image that was in my mind that day in the counselor’s office when I decided that I was going to be an orthodontist.
But something happened. A few days later, I received a phone call from that parent telling me that her daughter was unhappy.
She knew I mentored teenagers so she asked if I could help.
“I would be happy to talk with her but it sounds like she needs a therapist.”
I had only mentored teenagers at that time. I wasn’t trained to handle a teenager who was struggling with depression.
But that wasn’t all, the next week the same thing happened again. This time with a different parent. And again I referred them to a therapist.
But that wasn’t it because the same thing happened a third time.
At that moment, I knew orthodontics, alone, was not going to be enough to fulfill my life’s purpose of spreading happiness among teenagers.
You see, if something happens once, then it is random.
If something happens twice, then it is a coincidence.
If something happens three times, then I need to pay attention.
So the moment after I spoke with the third parent, I immediately started to research how I could help these teenagers.
I was prepared to pursue a degree in therapy until all three parents told me that therapy was not helping their child.
So I went back to the drawing board.
And that is when I discovered life coaching.
My success with coaching, I believe, comes from my gift of connecting with teenagers and my ability to shift their focus.
When I mention the phrase “shift their focus,” I am not talking ignoring issues that they may have.
Shifting focus is all about managing thoughts which is the secret to happiness.
My ability to help teens manage their thoughts is the reason I can help any teen with any issue.
No matter what issue your teen is currently facing, my three step process is guaranteed to help them overcome their obstacles (remember those issues are not problems, they are obstacles) and pursue their goals.
During this phase, we work on the mind.
Before we pursue any goal, we must first do something very important.
We must PREPARE the mind.
Like any type of physical training that your teen must do to prepare themselves for a competition, your teenager must do the same for the mind when pursuing a goal.
During this phase, we will address
Negative self talk
Teenagers are relieved to hear that they are not alone. Everyone has these thoughts (therefore everyone needs to prepare their mind before pursuing a goal).
So, there is no need for a pity party, these thoughts are just obstacles that stand in the way of their goals.
So I treat them as such.
We list and identify them. Then we use tools to get rid of them.
Now, we are ready for the second step of my Signature Three Step Process.
This is the fun part.
During this phase, we brainstorm, research, and create our action plan.
Often times, we address decision making (Teenagers, as you know, can be indecisive).
Finally, we set our intentions, agree on a time frame, and develop a daily, weekly, and sometimes monthly action plan.
During this phase, life coaching is an absolute necessity!
As a life coach, my job is to motivate and encourage your teenager as they take action. We always look for collaborations. As with any big goal, networking can help you achieve it much faster.
One of the biggest factors that will decide success versus failure is accountability. When a teenager is held accountable for their daily, weekly, and monthly action plans, they are more likely to follow through.
Finally, celebration along the way is a tool I use often to keep the momentum.
The teens years are the most critical! Imagine the possibilities for your teenager if they can learn how to manage their thoughts.
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